What if I don’t want to pivot?

Trying to hold steady in a world that keeps reinventing itself.

I keep thinking about what an absolutely bonkers time this is to be alive—just to exist as a human on Earth right now through everything.

The world was already topsy-turvy, and now we have this tariff nonsense and the sinking of our economy and even more doom and gloom.

I feel a bit stuck in this strange holding pattern, somewhere between outright panic and numbness. I’m getting oddly accustomed to waking up to batshit crazy headlines every morning. Sometimes I think I must be stuck in a prolonged dream (nightmare?), because reality feels entirely too unhinged.

There’s so much uncertainty about the future right now, and I can feel the ripple effects everywhere—including work. My ability to make a living as a freelance writer feels increasingly precarious, with promised projects disappearing, clients ghosting, and timelines pushed indefinitely. Lately, it feels like I spend more time chasing, following up, and hopping on calls that go nowhere than actually writing. Between AI and a looming recession, it’s tough times out there for us wordy types.

I see a lot of chatter about pivoting and reinventing. But, like… I don’t want to? I’ve already done that so many times. And then finally—finally—I felt like I found the thing. And now I’m supposed to go find another thing? Like my five year-old whines when he doesn’t want to clean up his toys: I don’t want to!

Sorry, there’s literally no way to talk about pivoting without thinking about this scene.

I know it’s part of the human experience to adapt and grow. Change is inevitable, change is good, blah blah blah. But it’s also quite exhausting and time-consuming when I’m already exhausted and time-poor. Reinvention doesn’t feel empowering right now. It feels like a perky TikTok influencer shouting at me to rebrand while I’m crouched under the kitchen table, picking up scattered Cheerios and trying not to hit my head.

There’s this constant push to be shifting, pivoting, optimizing. But maybe some of us don’t want to make a change. Maybe some of us just want a little stillness. A job that feels secure. A week of boring headlines. A routine that isn’t constantly interrupted by existential dread.

I just want to keep doing the thing I’m already good at: telling stories, translating thoughts into words, bringing a relatable voice to ideas that might otherwise get lost. That still feels like valuable work. I just hope there’s still a place for it before the robots and orange-faced guy totally destroy civilization.

💌 P.S. Since drafting this post, a rush of work came in (because the universe loves to play mind games, of course). Still, if you or someone you know needs a writer, let me know. I’ll be over here doing my best not to pivot.

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