20 Comments
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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

I think this sounds amazing! Especially the living near your parents and the laundry room. I was irrationally excited about having a laundry room too. With a door! A DOOR!!!

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Stephanie Gilman's avatar

Yes, lots of doors in my house! Although unfortunately they get slammed a lot by angry children.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Oh true, good point!

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Kathryn Barbash, PsyD's avatar

Yes to all of this! And after having a garage, I will never go back.

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Stephanie Gilman's avatar

Me neither, I don't think I could. And now that we're full suburbanites, we have TWO cars and a single garage, so I'm dreaming of a house with a double garage. 😍

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Maria Hanley's avatar

I can so relate to this. I lived in NYC in grad school and we had our first two children in Cambridge, MA. I never wanted to leave. I wanted the coffee shops, the buzz, the diversity and connection. We moved to California with a 4-yr old and a 2-yr old. Life is slower out here, and the schools we liked were in the slower part of town. We bought a house on a CUL DE SAC. It took me a long time to "get there." But you're absolutely right—I don't have that life anymore. And the one we have now is pretty great.

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Stephanie Gilman's avatar

I would love to live on a cul de sac! Our street is still too busy for me, by suburban standards. Those dead end courts are $$$ around here though. But I'd love to be on one, maybe someday. A quiet life in California sounds dreamy!

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Lindsey Smith | Not Normal's avatar

Love this post! I live in a small college town (a distinction and hill I will die on)--one time my husband referred to it as the suburbs and I nearly killed him. Still, the gist of it's the same- we can't afford/don't want to live in a teeny tiny ancient house in the "hip", very expensive part of town (which in our cases is only like 2 blocks long) and thus we live a few miles away from work in a place where the lots are large, there are lots of trees, and all the moms are live, laugh, loving it up. There's part of me that still rejects this identity and another part that is like--what took me so long to see the beauty in this?

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Stephanie Gilman's avatar

I replied to your comment, got distracted cleaning up Lego, and came back and saw I never posted it. 🤦‍♀️

I think a small college town sounds so lovely, and definitely not the suburbs in the sense you probably have your own little downtown or a Main Street or whatever? I love the idea of a smaller town where it’s the best of both worlds, but we have various factors that make this the best spot for us. I still have dreams of living in a Stars Hollow world though. 😍

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Lindsey Smith | Not Normal's avatar

Don’t we all?! If I’m honest that is like 90% of the reason why I went to grad school in New England (and still paying off the loans to boot 🤣).

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Fanny Korman's avatar

You are amazing! Really nailed it! FYI, moving back to the center of a city after the kids have grown up and moved away feels right, something that while I was raising our kids in the suburbs wouldn't have ever crossed my mind. Although, Westmount was pretty urban, so maybe that's not such a great comparison. LOL

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Stephanie Gilman's avatar

Westmount felt like an anomaly… a suburb a few minutes from the city. I’m a bit more in real suburbia 😂. It’s hard to imagine moving back downtown at any point, but never say never! I’m glad you love where you are now ❤️.

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Michelle Seetner's avatar

Yeeeees!! I made the same shift too!! 🥰

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Stephanie Gilman's avatar

It’s freeing! All hail the suburbs! 😂

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Elin Strong's avatar

Thank you for writing this!!! I’ve gone through the same mental gymnastics and have a very similar story. Currently in the suburbs (gasp) with two kids (also, gasp) and it was such a relief to finally accept that this is what’s not just best for me but for our family. Great essay!

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Stephanie Gilman's avatar

This makes me feel even better because I get the sense you are an objectively very cool person. Relief is a great way to describe it, instead of always toying with the idea and trying to find arguments against doing it. Like, it’s done, I’m here, I’m fine.

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Elin Strong's avatar

Idk about that, but I'll take the compliment and remember to tell my daughter one day that people once thought she was cool.

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Sarah ‘19's avatar

Nothing like living close to family! I wouldn’t trade it in a heartbeat. Had a friend’s party last night and the kids just wouldn’t fall asleep, so instead of the usual babysitter I called my sister, who entertained the two wide awake toddlers until we got back at 11 PM.

Also- having to look for parking is the worsttt (I’m in a city), so I feel you on that.

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Stephanie Gilman's avatar

That’s so nice you’re close to your sister, I wish mine were closer! The parking truly stresses me out now that I’m not used to it anymore. I mean, it always did but I just accepted it. Now I realize how grouchy it makes me.

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Bonny's avatar

I absolutely love this❤️

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