Please stop doing this annoying thing

A bizarre parenting trend, an ode to Bad Sisters, releasing imperfect work, and why you need to update your headshots

Hey there! It’s been a minute.

The last time we spoke, I wrote about letting go of the pressure of producing this newsletter. Since then, I’ve been trying to think of ways to streamline creating these, so I don’t always feel overwhelmed by the scary blank page. I’ve even asked my pal ChatGPT to help me out, but it turns out it’s not any good at writing newsletters (it told me to sign off with “keep shining!” which I most definitely will not be doing).

I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t always write a completely polished essay––and thinking I could was a bit foolish. I have two little kids, a business, a house, an endless queue of TV shows to binge, a massive sleep deficit, and a million to-dos. I can barely squeeze in a shower. So I’m trying to be a bit more realistic.

Sometimes I may still write a proper essay that I pour my heart into. But other times I’m just going to write smaller sections instead of ONE BIG IDEA. It’s easier to tackle and less overwhelming. And we all need less overwhelm right now, amirite?

Ok! Thank you for attending my TED Talk. Let’s move on, shall we?

Parents: please stop doing this annoying thing

I’ve noticed this trend in parenting communities that goes something like this:

Parent #1: My two-year-old is driving me crazy! The terrible two’s are no joke.

Parent #2: Just wait until they turn THREE! You thought two was bad?! Threenagers are a whole other level of terror.

Or…

Parent #1: My baby wakes up every three hours at night and I’m so tired, I just want this stage to be over.

Parent #2: You think babies are hard? They’re nothing compared to tweens. I’d give anything for those newborn days now!

*And, scene.*

Please, can everyone just stop doing this? Can we all agree that every parenting stage is amazing and terrible, and it’s not a competition?

It’s very disheartening when you’re struggling and looking for support, only to have someone shout at you, “JUST WAIT, IT GETS SO MUCH WORSE MUAHAHAHA!”

Instead, try saying, “I remember that phase and it was so hard. You’re doing great and you’ll survive this.”

Or just say nothing, which is always a better option than filling an unsuspecting person with dread.

I want to be a Garvey sister

IYKYK. And if you don’t, drop what you’re doing and watch this show right now. It’s a really good one. Sharon Horgan is a genius.

Inspiration for anyone who creates things

We must understand that the drive for perfectionism is a corrosive waste of time, because nothing is ever beyond criticism. No matter how many hours you spend attempting to render something flawless, somebody will always be able to find fault with it. (There are people out there who still consider Beethoven’s symphonies a little bit too, you know, loud.) At some point, you really just have to finish your work and release it as is—if only so that you can go on to make other things with a glad and determined heart. Which is the entire point. Or should be.”

-Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic

Get your headshots taken, because you’re worth it

I originally published this on my LinkedIn (if you haven’t already connected with me, please do!) but I’m sharing it here if you’re not a Linky (I don’t think anyone uses the term Linky to refer to people on LinkedIn, but maybe it will take off now that I’ve said it).

A couple weeks ago, I did something that terrifies me.

I had a professional photographer take my photo. 😱

I needed some updated shots for my website and LinkedIn and didn't have anything from the past several years that wasn't from a family shoot or a wedding––unless you count the numerous selfies where 99% of the time a child is standing on me.

I delayed booking the photos for a long time because of the following limiting beliefs:

• I'm a writer, not an actress! Do I really need professional headshots?
• I have nothing to wear ❌
• I hate the way I look in photos, so what's the point?
• Photos are so expensive! I need to save my money!

Eventually, I squashed these thoughts and convinced myself to go for it.

Did I feel awkward and uncomfortable?

Duh. I'm an introvert who sits behind a computer (who has mostly worn sweatpants for the last three years).

But I'm glad I did it.

Because I take my business seriously and this is part of that.

But also because I very rarely do anything that's just for myself. And every once in awhile, you just have to channel your inner L'Oreal voice and tell yourself, "I'm worth it."

On the fence about getting your own headshots taken?

Just go for it.

Take off those sweatpants, throw on some jeans (that still have some stretch to them, obviously––no need to be a martyr), and smile for the camera.

Because you're worth it. 💫

Some final thoughts…

This newsletter is currently free but you can still support me by:

• Subscribing if you haven’t yet

• Forwarding this email to a friend

• Hiring me when you need a freelance writer

• Leaving me a (kind) comment

Until next time… keep shining! (I mean, I had to do it, right?)

Steph 💌