You put words on the vague feelings that have been haunting me the past two months. I’m so grateful I have a newborn right now, because it is so distracting. But I’m also scared shitless every time I open the news. I don’t know how I’m going to explain to my adult kids how we got to the place we are heading to right now. I also feel that the state of the world puts so much pressure on us parents. We can’t count on anyone or anything but ourselves to raise decent human being. I’m scared of how to handle raising another white male in a world that screams at them that they have all the rights to take away other people’s rights. Scared to raise my baby girl in a world that screams that her opinions don’t matter, and that harm to her body will likely go unpunished and unnoticed.
Sorry for the long comment, it kind of got away from me. But thank you for creating a space in which we can talk about this ❤️
I just want to let you know what was once said to me.
If you are thinking that, and are trying your best to avoide it. 1 you are doing amazing and 2 you won't let them become that. Keep up the good work mama!
Today I got so angry/overwhelmed that I stepped away from my husband and toddler, into another room and screamed into a pillow.
My 3.5 year old son came to me and asked me why I was doing it. I told him I was angry. He said, “oh I get angry too sometimes”. He went away and then came back with a pillow and sat next to me and we both did it.
It’s ok to bring our children along on those difficult journey as long as we let them know we will try our best to keep them safe ♥️
I think it can be a blessing to focus on the things we can do like pack lunches and fill in school field trips forms. Those are manageable, check list items providing some forward moment and a brief distraction from the doom and gloom of the world right now. If I didn’t have kids to take to school or work to do, it would be hard to find the strength to get out of bed in the morning. Parenting right now is a blessing and a curse, fulfilling and completely exhausting!
Yep, I often think about what my life would be like without kids (sometimes daydreaming, of course, and imagining traveling and sleeping in and reading books 😂) and I think I’d be even more consumed by the news and everything bad that’s happening even more than I already am.
I feel this so much! My children are worried about the people they care about who could be in danger right now as well as if they can have more time on video games, and trying to help them manage the feelings of both while also balancing my own anxieties of impending disaster with daily mundane tasks (Did I order the kids new shoes? Did I sign that thing for school?) feels both surreal and overwhelming.
This, a thousand times. And every mother feels it. You’ve helped me put words to what I’m feeling right now. I want to rise up, resist, make the world a better place - and yet for my children that means holding them as they cry, because they boinked their head on the side of the dining room table, despite me telling them not to play “kitten at the zoo” under there about ten times today. Maybe our cuddles, and wiping snot, and folding laundry… will result in a kinder, softer, generation of leaders? We can only hope.
Hi Abigail! I think the way we raise our kids is one of the most impactful ways we can make change in the world… so I’d like to think it does all matter and help. It’s so hard to not feel like the weight of the world’s problems is on our shoulders, for sure. I feel it too. Trying to remember to be kind to myself and that I alone am not responsible for everything (nor am I that powerful 😂).
I'm due to become a father in a months time, and I'm so looking forward to having my little boy. I've struggled to look after myself with the unrelenting pressures here in the UK. All I want now is what's best for him, which in turn is making me a better person. I recently became registered as a childminder and I'm finally excited about the future again for the first time in a long time!
Thanks for sharing something I think many of us are feeling right now.
At the risk out outing my political leanings, I feel compelled by your post to share a fun story (that will hopefully at least give other exhausted parents like me a small chuckle). We live in South Carolina where we have an open primary system, so we decided to vote in the Republican primary last year (Joe Biden’s nomination being a foregone conclusion, so we thought at the time). It’s really important to my wife and I that we bring our kids to the polling place with us so that they learn from an early age that their vote counts. So we loaded our four children into the car (SUV - they don’t make cars big enough for our crew) and drove to the church that serves as a polling station in our community.
We met up with my mother-in-law in line to vote and my 7-year old who doesn’t have a “quiet” mode proceeded to tell her “we’re voting for Nikki Haley because Donald Trump is shellfish” (no typo, he said shellfish 🤣).
I’m glad that he was listening when we told him that the leader of our country should be a servant leader and someone we are proud of. I was also glad to see the sign on the wall that said “no guns allowed in the polling place”!
The guns thing is WILD to me (I'm Canadian, so no guns allowed anywhere). Like, the idea that people have to be told to leave your guns at home is so incredibly foreign to me.
Donald Trump being shellfish actually doesn't feel that far off... he is very red-tinged! It's funny the things kids repeat. We have to be so careful with ours too. Actually just this morning my 5 year old called me dumb, and I said we don't tell people they're dumb and that's not a nice word, and he said, "But you said Donald Trump is a dumb-dumb!" Oops.
Absolutely, it’s always incredible to me that they don’t hear me when they are playing games on their iPads, but they hear every word when I’m talking to my wife about things they shouldn’t hear 🤣 of course, my wife would say the selective hearing is a learned trait—something I’m working on!
I love this because it is so very true! I will doom scroll in the morning and my Littles comes out and is immediately expressing everything they want/need. Hard to doom when you got a little.
This felt so comforting to read! I’ve felt some serious guilt this year, enjoying my maternity leave and shutting off the news - it’s so easy to dismiss the US news cycle since I no longer live there (cue more guilt)…
My sister's little one is the same age as yours (about to turn 1!) and she's been in the same boat... enjoying mat leave and often ignoring the news. It's a good survival tactic!
You put words on the vague feelings that have been haunting me the past two months. I’m so grateful I have a newborn right now, because it is so distracting. But I’m also scared shitless every time I open the news. I don’t know how I’m going to explain to my adult kids how we got to the place we are heading to right now. I also feel that the state of the world puts so much pressure on us parents. We can’t count on anyone or anything but ourselves to raise decent human being. I’m scared of how to handle raising another white male in a world that screams at them that they have all the rights to take away other people’s rights. Scared to raise my baby girl in a world that screams that her opinions don’t matter, and that harm to her body will likely go unpunished and unnoticed.
Sorry for the long comment, it kind of got away from me. But thank you for creating a space in which we can talk about this ❤️
I think kids hopefully learn the lessons and values we teach them. I’m raising two boys and they’re such kind, empathetic, sensitive kids.
I just want to let you know what was once said to me.
If you are thinking that, and are trying your best to avoide it. 1 you are doing amazing and 2 you won't let them become that. Keep up the good work mama!
Thank you for that 🙏 yes, hopefully awareness will be « enough »…
This was very necessary, thank you for writing.
Today I got so angry/overwhelmed that I stepped away from my husband and toddler, into another room and screamed into a pillow.
My 3.5 year old son came to me and asked me why I was doing it. I told him I was angry. He said, “oh I get angry too sometimes”. He went away and then came back with a pillow and sat next to me and we both did it.
It’s ok to bring our children along on those difficult journey as long as we let them know we will try our best to keep them safe ♥️
Oh I love this so much! What a sweet little guy you have. ❤️
I think it can be a blessing to focus on the things we can do like pack lunches and fill in school field trips forms. Those are manageable, check list items providing some forward moment and a brief distraction from the doom and gloom of the world right now. If I didn’t have kids to take to school or work to do, it would be hard to find the strength to get out of bed in the morning. Parenting right now is a blessing and a curse, fulfilling and completely exhausting!
Yep, I often think about what my life would be like without kids (sometimes daydreaming, of course, and imagining traveling and sleeping in and reading books 😂) and I think I’d be even more consumed by the news and everything bad that’s happening even more than I already am.
I feel this so much! My children are worried about the people they care about who could be in danger right now as well as if they can have more time on video games, and trying to help them manage the feelings of both while also balancing my own anxieties of impending disaster with daily mundane tasks (Did I order the kids new shoes? Did I sign that thing for school?) feels both surreal and overwhelming.
Surreal and overwhelming definitely sums it up! These are such hard times.
This, a thousand times. And every mother feels it. You’ve helped me put words to what I’m feeling right now. I want to rise up, resist, make the world a better place - and yet for my children that means holding them as they cry, because they boinked their head on the side of the dining room table, despite me telling them not to play “kitten at the zoo” under there about ten times today. Maybe our cuddles, and wiping snot, and folding laundry… will result in a kinder, softer, generation of leaders? We can only hope.
Hi Abigail! I think the way we raise our kids is one of the most impactful ways we can make change in the world… so I’d like to think it does all matter and help. It’s so hard to not feel like the weight of the world’s problems is on our shoulders, for sure. I feel it too. Trying to remember to be kind to myself and that I alone am not responsible for everything (nor am I that powerful 😂).
I feel all of this, thanks for sharing 💕
I'm due to become a father in a months time, and I'm so looking forward to having my little boy. I've struggled to look after myself with the unrelenting pressures here in the UK. All I want now is what's best for him, which in turn is making me a better person. I recently became registered as a childminder and I'm finally excited about the future again for the first time in a long time!
Here's to the ones we care for and cherish :)
That’s so great! My kids 100% make me a better person. (Also, a very tired one.)
Thanks for sharing something I think many of us are feeling right now.
At the risk out outing my political leanings, I feel compelled by your post to share a fun story (that will hopefully at least give other exhausted parents like me a small chuckle). We live in South Carolina where we have an open primary system, so we decided to vote in the Republican primary last year (Joe Biden’s nomination being a foregone conclusion, so we thought at the time). It’s really important to my wife and I that we bring our kids to the polling place with us so that they learn from an early age that their vote counts. So we loaded our four children into the car (SUV - they don’t make cars big enough for our crew) and drove to the church that serves as a polling station in our community.
We met up with my mother-in-law in line to vote and my 7-year old who doesn’t have a “quiet” mode proceeded to tell her “we’re voting for Nikki Haley because Donald Trump is shellfish” (no typo, he said shellfish 🤣).
I’m glad that he was listening when we told him that the leader of our country should be a servant leader and someone we are proud of. I was also glad to see the sign on the wall that said “no guns allowed in the polling place”!
The guns thing is WILD to me (I'm Canadian, so no guns allowed anywhere). Like, the idea that people have to be told to leave your guns at home is so incredibly foreign to me.
Donald Trump being shellfish actually doesn't feel that far off... he is very red-tinged! It's funny the things kids repeat. We have to be so careful with ours too. Actually just this morning my 5 year old called me dumb, and I said we don't tell people they're dumb and that's not a nice word, and he said, "But you said Donald Trump is a dumb-dumb!" Oops.
Absolutely, it’s always incredible to me that they don’t hear me when they are playing games on their iPads, but they hear every word when I’m talking to my wife about things they shouldn’t hear 🤣 of course, my wife would say the selective hearing is a learned trait—something I’m working on!
I could not agree more Stephanie. And thanks for sharing my article, too!
My pleasure!
Thank you so much for sharing my work here <3 Hope you're hanging in!
Of course! Thank you for writing it!
I so agree with you on everything
I’m glad to hear it!
I love this because it is so very true! I will doom scroll in the morning and my Littles comes out and is immediately expressing everything they want/need. Hard to doom when you got a little.
For sure, they love to interrupt… for better or worse!
This felt so comforting to read! I’ve felt some serious guilt this year, enjoying my maternity leave and shutting off the news - it’s so easy to dismiss the US news cycle since I no longer live there (cue more guilt)…
My sister's little one is the same age as yours (about to turn 1!) and she's been in the same boat... enjoying mat leave and often ignoring the news. It's a good survival tactic!